But if you’re looking for a more unorthodox suggestion—something off the page and also, perhaps, completely off the wall (and, in at least one case, on it), here are a few different ideas, any of which can be on its way to your beloved word-lover with a few clicks on the “Word” Wide Web… —– Applications Accepted Words With Friends may be grabbing all the headlines (for all the wrong reasons), but the Scrabble imitation is hardly the only app out there for your friends who love words. So get the word freak in your life an Apple Store gift card (it will help if they already have an iPhone or iPad) and let ‘em have at it. From WordSnake to Wordigo, there are dozens of options, many of them, like, good. Here are some suggestions from the aptly (and app-ly) named Appolicious.com. —– Hang It Up Now you—or the lucky ones on your gift list—can capture an entire literary classic with one glance from across the room. At postertext.com, you can order a 2-foot-by-3-foot poster created from the text of a great novel, say, War and Peace (yes, in this version, it’s only one page long), with a memorable image from the narrative. Little Women, Heart of Darkness, The Wizard of Oz (right), A Tale of Two Cities, and dozens of others are also available. A word-picture of The Picture of Dorian Gray would be particularly meta, no? —– Horn Of Plenty It could be your niece, your brother-in-law, your neighbor, your orthopedist—there is someone on your list who is simply obsessed with words and unicorns. Am I right? (Of course.) And every year, it’s the same conundrum: What in Anne’s Green Gables are you supposed to get them? Thankfully, your prayers (and curses) are answered: The Unicorn Lover Magnetic Poetry Kit. The promotional copy needs no embellishment: And hey! It also comes in a Pirate version. —– What’s In A Name? What is your name worth? In a game of Scrabble, perhaps more than you think… The Personalized Name Word List is a formatted record of 60 of the highest-scoring words made up from the letters in any specified name. It will arrive framed, suitable for hanging, and “guaranteed to be a conversation starter.” (Sample conversation start: “What the…?”) People with relatively short names are encouraged to include their middle names so as to give the list-maker more to work with (see example at right). A great gift for Uncle Jxqjzxqz! —– Boggle Is For Wimps Marketed as “the world’s toughest language game,” MooT is a board/card game with more than 1,000 extremely difficult questions about the grammar, semantics, or etymology of the English language. (Sample question: “You have the same mother but not the same father. Are you siblings?” Answer here.) It promises to teach writers, and readers, a thing or two, and will make even the most hardnosed copyeditor cry (with glee). —– Brenda’s Adventures In Wonderland Okay, so this last one is actually a book—a “novel” idea sure to offend the literary purists in your midst while delighting your favorite, literature-savvy megalomaniac. Personalized Classics offers the chance to see your name and the names of those closest to you as the lead characters of the written masterpiece of your choice. Think Romeo and Jessica or Dave Quixote. All you have to do is send in the name(s), and they’ll do all the find-and-replace for you. As the gift-giver, you can even add your name to the author page: Huckleberry Finn, by Mark Twain and Cousin Marsha. It’s just so wrong!
Victor Wishna’s work has appeared in the Wall Street Journal, the Baltimore Sun, the New York Post, NPR, KCMetropolis.org, and others. His writing and editing services firm, The Vital Word helps find the right words for nonprofit, corporate, and individual clients. Follow him on Twitter: @vwishna.
